Paint, Prayers, and Potato Chips: Getting Your Team Those Two Points

Tonight, you are going to a friend’s house to watch hockey. So what is your plan for a successful night? You have a plan, right?

You must plan to win. You expect your team to put in 110%; don’t jinx them by not giving it your full effort. Here are critical points to consider:

The food (that you tell your significant other you’re planning to eat)

You must have the appropriate snacks. These snacks have to fit the four food groups with nutrients that won’t rot your teeth. No sugar. You must not have sugar. It will make you emotional. You must get to sleep early to be ready for work tomorrow. We do not want you to have a headache when we go to work, do we? You need to be clear-headed.

Has your girlfriend or wife left the room yet? Did you convince her you will not be hyped up on sugar? This is critical to your relationship with your non-hockey spouse and how she feels about your next hockey night.

Remember the routine or rituals you followed the last time your team won

The routine is vital for your team’s success. This is why you must remember exactly what you did if you want them to win again.

It is important to remember the steps you took. What did you do to prepare for the battle? Lucky shirt? Socks? Dare I say lucky underwear? Which seat were you sitting in when they scored that game-winning goal? Did you have dip with your chips? Did you get the Doritos in the red bag or the blue one?

This is critical, soldier! Pay attention!

Keep caffeine down

Keeping your caffeine consumption below atomic level is important. You want to keep an even keel, not getting too high in good times, or too low in the bad times. We know hockey is in a season of ups and downs. No team is gonna win every game, unless you have some kind of voodoo in you.

And if you do have the magic touch, use it wisely! We must not get too greedy and use it all before the playoffs.

The paint

How much paint do you put on your face? That depends on what you did the last time your team won. If your team won when you painted a single angry stripe, don’t suddenly show up looking like a clown college exploded on your face.

Are you a painter? Do you have a favourite paint colour? I am not a painter, but I thought I should address this to show that I am not prejudiced against certain groups.

Snacks

I know I already mentioned this, but I cannot emphasize it enough. Always be consistent with the snacks. In a previous post, I addressed how many more you should be allowed to have. Did you discuss this with your boss/significant other? If you haven’t reviewed it recently, here it is:

Flamestr’s Thoughts: The Chips are Down: A Pre-Season Guide to Surviving Hockey Night

Final word

Laugh if you like, but you’d be amazed at what fans are superstitious about and what they will do to help their team win a game.

How far would you go to get your team two points?

Randy