Brain Farts and Broken Heads: Another Day in the NHL

Every year, I think this will be the year. Maybe this will be the year players will start respecting each other. I hate the fact that players lose their heads (not literally, of course), thinking we are in an armed conflict and not a hockey game. What has got me a snit? In the words of a famous wrestler, LA Knight, “Well, let me tell ya”. I’m not trying to hurt players’ feelings, but sometimes they have brain farts.

Head shots attempt to cause injury

I know there can be times when there is no attempt to injure. What makes the head explode (again, not literally, I would not be alive), brainless hits players jumping up before making a hit. Then, listening to the offender mumbling, trying to defend themselves, “I was trying to get some momentum with a big hit.” Oh, that’s fine, then jump as high as you can to hit him where? Oh, that’s right, to the cranium (word of the day—it means head).

The other excuse, “My intent was not to maim, mutilate, afflict, or damage the physical body in any way,” Has someone lawyered up? Exactly what was your intent? Was it some kind of male-bonding thing? Was it maybe a love tap? I really want to know what goes through the player’s mind right before they do the deed.

Coaches are trying to defend the player for his actions, saying, “He was trying to change direction, he was not trying to hurt the player.” Reminds me of the legal counsel for the defendant. The opposing coach is yelling foul and calling the player a scoundrel (is that a family word? I hope I didn’t offend anyone) for doing it. The prosecution has spoken. Let truth be known, this coach is a hypocrite. If the shoe were on the other foot, he would want his player to do the same.

Final word

Oh, you laugh, but you know it’s true. How many of you, if you were a General Manager, wouldn’t want to acquire a Matthew Tkachuk? My source, “Oh how I hate Tkachuck, but what I wouldn’t do to acquire his services.” Doesn’t this sound like hiring a hitman, assassin, cutthroat, or even an executioner? I didn’t know hockey was such a violent sport. 

Maybe we should play a game of Candy Land?